D, running around the room with her arms stretched out in front of her: “I’m Super Princess! If any of my toys fall into the water, I’ll save them!”
In her spare time, Super Princess also subverts gender stereotypes 🙂
D while watching an episode of Peppa Pig called ‘Babysitting’: “But amma, they haven’t gone to Baby city yet!”
D decides to loudly comment on our (balding but otherwise somewhat hairy) driver’s appearance while in the car today.
D: Amma! This driver uncle has no hair in the front!
Me (darting a nervous look at him): Yes, yes baby. Different people have different hairstyles, right?
D nods and pipes down. I heave a sigh of relief.
(A few minutes later)
D (thoughtfully as she sips from her bottle): Amma! All the hair on his arms…
Me (breaking in desperately): D, drink your water!
D: But Amma! All the hair…
Me (louder): Just drink your water, D.
D (determinedly): But Amma, all the hairs on his arms look like bubbles!
D: Amma, where do dinosaurs live?
Me: They’re not alive anymore, baby. They’re gone.
D: But where have they gone?
Me (stumped): Uhm…
D: Have they gone to a hot beach?
Me: No, no, baby, they’re not on a beach. They’re… they’re not anywhere on Earth.
D: Then where are they?
Me (completely at a loss): Uhmm… (Suddenly struck by inspiration) They’ve become fossils! You remember those dinosaur bones and fossils we saw? That is where they are… they’ve become bones and fossils in the ground.
D (thoughtfully): Ohh.
Me: *feeling pleased with myself*
D (after a few moments): But how did they become fossils, amma?
Me (heart sinking): Uhmm… (hyperventilating because I’m heading into dark territory) that happens when… when they… when they’re not alive any more.
D: What does alived mean, amma?
Me (totally out of my depth now): Uhm… it’s when you can walk and run and talk and everything.
D (thoughtfully): Oh. Is teddy biddy alived?
Me (relieved to have a question I can actually answer): No, darling. See how he can’t talk or move by himself?
D (hugging teddy): I think teddy is better than being alived. He’s better for hugging because he’s cuddly!
Me: *phew* Yes baby, he is!
Me: Look, kozhukattais! It’s Pillaiyar umachi‘s favourite food.
D: Will he eat it, amma?
Me: Yes! And then you can eat some too.
D: But I’m not an umachi!
Me: Today is Pillaiyar umachi‘s birthday, so we’re going to visit him at the temple.
D (thinks for a minute): How old is he?
Me (stumped): Uhm… I don’t know, baby. Thousands of years old.
D (firmly): No, I think he’s four or five years old.
Me : You’re right, you’re right.
Me: Can I have the green book?
D: No! You want the blue book!
Me: How much is the doll?
D: It’s 12 o’clock!
Me: I don’t have any more money 😦
D: Here’s some money!
1. Granddad: Where are your bangles?
Disha: I don’t have my bangles. *pause* I only have my arm.
2. The Fairy Tale Effect
Me: Disha! Please sit down!
Disha: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!
3. The Dora Effect
Disha (standing in front of a shut door): Abre! abre!
Impossible toddler goals-
1) D: Amma, I want to lie down on my lap.
Me: You mean you want to lie down on amma’s lap?
D (bending over and twisting her head onto her knee): No! I want to lie on D’s lap!
2) Wanting to sleep on six-inch long dolly beds, and coveting her baby doll’s clothes and shoes (“I want! I want!”)
Accurate toddler misinterpretations:
1) Me (being pretentious): Excuse-moi
D (cheerfully): Excuse amma!
2) Me: Let’s go to the library, D
D: I love going to the libraread!